If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
