Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
