found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
