You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
