We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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