my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Randomize
