i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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