lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
