So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
