She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The best revenge is premature balding
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
