nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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