Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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