Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
