so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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