So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
