..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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