I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
