But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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