your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
