i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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