Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just pee around me
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
