I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
