I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
