When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize