The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
