CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
