I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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