I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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