Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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