I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
