it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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