fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
