What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
