Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
