Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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