Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
