She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
