Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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