It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
