I feel like I'm in dance class right now
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
