tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
No subtext here. People are naked.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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