I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
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