i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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