You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
