I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
