I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
