Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
