I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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