I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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