I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
