hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i can't believe i had my finger in that
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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