I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
