I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
