On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I want to have your abortion
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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