Texts From Last Night · 1989toyotapickup's Favorites

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1989toyotapickup's Favorites Texts:

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(817): View more from Texas

He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"

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(+44): View more from England

Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.

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(765): View more from Indiana

He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.

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(914): View more from New York

Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him

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(847): View more from Illinois

i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.

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(212): View more from New York

??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.

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(816): View more from Missouri

In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance

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